One of the most important elements of effective decision making is making sure you are in the best possible state of mind when you make the decision.
Decisions Are Complicated
The challenge being that often important decisions are complicated. Complicated by multiple factors:
- costs;
- relationships;
- time limits;
- resources;
- emotions;
- limited information;
- or an abundance of information; and so on.
Find A Place Of Stillness
When there is a virtual tornado of factors swirling around you, it is vital to do something to weather the storm. We must find a place of stillness and seek guidance from a knowledgeable and objective person.
So how do we find the calm in the midst of a storm?
Getting Centered
It’s all about getting “centered.” One aspect of being centered involves your identity, which can be easily compromised when we want something to go a particular way. We may be tempted to accept circumstances that are not acceptable…and make a decision that could compromise our soul.
Here are a few questions to consider when it comes to whether or not you are compromising your identity.
- Who am I and is the decision I am making a reflection of me?
- What do I want?
- What’s most important to me?
- What are my values?
- What am I afraid of?
- What is the hope I have for the outcome?
- What’s motivating me?
Calming The Body
Next is being physically centered, calming the body and all of the stress signals such as…
- being exhausted/not getting enough sleep;
- hold one’s breathe;
- tensing one’s muscles;
- increased heart palpitations;
- obsessive thoughts etc…
There are many techniques to assist with calming the body and getting “centered.” My personal favorite is the practice of Tai Chi and Qi Gong.
But there many options. Some people are centered by the following:
- dancing;
- singing,
- playing an instrument;
- running;
- meditation;
- yoga;
- writing in a journal;
- knitting;
- crafting;
- walking;
- being in nature;
- gardening;
- time with animals and pets;
- cooking (a nutritious meal);
- breathing exercises;
- and progressive muscle relaxation…to name a few.
Core Personal Values
As for getting centered in your identity. It is vital to recognize where you are choosing to compromise and making sure that any potential compromise wouldn’t be damaging to what matters to you most – your core personal values.
One way to determine your core personal values is to think about what it is you want for everyone you care about when it comes to their life. Make a list of 1-2 word descriptors, for example “peace” or “trustworthy friendships.”
Because what you want for those you care about on a scale of compassion is what you want for all of humanity. Continue to list descriptors as long as you can list items that are meaningful to you. When you have at least 20 items, narrow your list to 10…then to your top 3.
If you must, you can add 2 more back to your narrowed down list from those phrases you cut. So your list of your core personal values should be 3-5 words that represent what matters most…it is not just a reflection of what you want for your loved ones. It is also a reflection of what we seek most for ourselves. My list includes:
- love,
- wellness,
- freedom,
- safety,
- and abundance.
The Concept of Centering
Of course there are other factors that make up our identity, like what our priorities are and our guiding belief systems. Because of my Tai Chi practice I’ve become more interested in its underlying principles. One that I’ve already shared is the concept of “centering.” Almost every movement in the Tai Chi form involves coming back to “center” whether you are advancing, withdrawing, pushing or striking…you come back to “center” before the next movement in the form.
Tai Chi is a form of the martial art Kung Fu, and as a result it has fight applications. You only have to see one fight scene in any film to know that the person who loses the fight is the one who loses their balance. Center is where we return to maintain our balance.
And so it is also true when it comes to making effective decisions; we must come back to “center!” This involves the tasks of staying true to one’s identity and values, as well as relaxing one’s mind and body.
Seek Wise Counsel
After getting centered, the next important step in the process of effective decision making involves talking to a third party who is more knowledgeable than you but also is someone who can be objective. That person should not make the decision for you but they can offer invaluable perspective.
One thing is virtually certain – while our circumstances are unique…there are no new decisions….so seek wise counsel always!
When you are centered you have a better chance of recognizing that there is nothing to fear…the truth is in this moment there is no lack… all is well! Your decision from this frame of mind and way of being will most likely result in your highest good!
Copyright © 2015 Ruby Blow. All rights reserved.
Share your thoughts on Linkedin, Facebook, Twitter
