Is Giving Better Than Receiving?
Is giving better than receiving? Many people struggle with receiving from others. Compliments, gifts, help, love and forgiveness are among the items and experiences they have difficulty receiving.
Not being able to receive extends itself to also having difficulty being comforted by others or even with comforting oneself when upset, sad, frustrated or anxious.
Receiving puts us in direct relationship with a sense of “lack.” Lack and “less than” or “incomplete” can become linked and as a result a person may avoid those feelings of vulnerability at all costs.
We have to be careful not to over praise Givers…
We need to be able to recognize when their giving relationships and circumstances are abundant, yet they lack relationships or support in which they receive.
Giving is good yet receiving is just as important.
Giving is not more important than receiving…I don’t believe one is better, instead they are of equal importance.
As we enter the holiday season, we engage in all types of giving, whether it be-
- charitable giving;
- or giving among family and friends
- or engaging in volunteer work.
Difficulty Receiving
I believe one of the core reasons for sadness during this season of giving is people who have become isolated. Isolation can be another form of difficulty receiving, however in this case it is difficulty receiving social interaction, often coupled with a distrust of others’ intentions.
That isolation is a mindset centered around being on one’s own and/or belief that no one would be there for them. At its root cause, this belief traces back to someone who gave, didn’t receive and then become resentful or disgruntled.
Alternatively, these could also be people who did not receive in adequate amounts or with enough frequency to believe that others can meet their needs.
When working with clients over this season of giving, let’s issue a therapeutic assignment to ourselves to receive. Let’s support our clients in receiving.
Strength in Vulnerability
There is strength in interdependence, and strength in risking vulnerability by allowing closeness. The people who come to me for counseling are among those I admire most in the world.
At its best, being in therapy is about-
- being vulnerable;
- it’s about challenging oneself to risk feeling worse (sometimes before feeling better);
- and it’s about receiving feedback;
- and receiving care and concern from another human being and all its inherent risks.
Receiving Love
Let’s get intentional about receiving.
- Say yes to an invitation.
- Say yes to help carrying your groceries out to the car.
- Say yes to an offer of soup or a drug store run when you are sick.
- Say yes to another person picking up the tab for lunch.
- Say yes to friendship.
- Say yes to receiving love.
Copyright © 2015 Ruby Blow. All rights reserved.
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