On Your Own
We all go through changes and transitions in life. These changes often involve the intersection between the personal and the professional. In other words, in order to attain your professional goals you will need to improve any limiting personal challenges.
We reach what I consider to be plateaus in our growth…these are stages during which we either stagnate and stand still or we change and grow. We typically begin the process of change when we are truly ready. It cannot be on someone else’s time frame- it is truly on your own time.
Some People Can’t or Won’t Support You
Sometimes the people you expect to support you are either unable or unwilling. At first glance this seems unfair…but is it?
Just because you are ready to make a change doesn’t mean that others are ready or interested in being a part of your change process.
Some people can’t or won’t support you:
- they won’t give advice;
- or encouragement;
- or information;
- or connections;
- no leads;
- no time off;
- no resources, and so on…
Some People Will Support You
However, some people can and will support you. It is wise to seek support when we are trying to make changes or when change is thrust upon you.
Support can come from:
- friends,
- family,
- colleagues,
- consultants,
- therapists,
- coaches,
- books,
- training,
- and even from strangers.
It’s Still on You
It is inevitable that you will at times feel let down. You even might even feel invisible. You may think “Don’t they see me trying? Why are they not noticing me and coming to my aide?”
Sometimes when we go it alone we can feel lost, overwhelmed and even afraid. We may have taken a big risk either financially, emotionally, physically or even spiritually. We were willing to take that risk because the rewards we anticipated made it worth the effort.
We can often imagine that new job; or that new business; or that new relationship; or the new-found lease on life from improved health; or the travel and experiences we are cultivating.
The Risks
Let’s face it: risk can be fun and exhilarating, but it can also be scary and anxiety provoking. When we set out to change ourselves or grow ourselves we are taking a risk.
The risks to us include things like:
- feeling that we have failed;
- being disappointed in our own efforts;
- being heartbroken;
- losing our investments;
- not being able to take care of ourselves; and
- feeling insecure to name a few.
The Rewards
So what is potentially fun or exhilarating about those risks? I contend that it is not the risk itself that is exciting…it is the possible reward.
It is life as we have imagined it to be when we achieved the change we tried to affect.
- Feeling successful and accomplished;
- being proud of ourselves and our achievements;
- being heart-full and feeling connected;
- making the most out of our investments;
- being able to take care of ourselves and others;
- and feeling a sense of security, capability and possibility based on our previous experiences.
Risks to Others
When we change it is not only a risk for us, it is also a risk for others. They have concerns like:
- Who will you be and will you still be someone who wants what we have together – whether that is a professional or personal relationship or both?
- Will you leave me?
- What about the time I have already invested in you?…basically “What about me?”
- Also, what if you want some support that I am not willing to give?…What are you giving me back?…and so and so forth.
Your Path is Yours
Change often requires new partnerships; new support and uncovering elements of self that may feel unfamiliar. Some people will not go with you. They are on a different path than yours.
Seeing someone else on their journey can both inspire us and confuse us. We can get so focused and aware of how someone else does what they do that we begin to merge it with our own identity.
We begin to think of someone else’s way as ours. Of course we can and should learn from others before us… but no one can do it for you.
Whatever you are trying to achieve has to be accomplished by you. You can and will have help along the way. It will come from both expected and unexpected sources.
In order to receive this support you must open up your hands; your eyes; your mind and your heart. Support and resources are everywhere but there are parts of your journey that are yours alone.
You can intend…you can follow your intuition and your gut. You can incorporate spiritual practices to help you feel calm and assured.
There are things that you must figure out for yourself. You can’t hire it out. And despite metaphysics and “the law of attraction”, you can’t simply wish it into being.
Your change or growth will likely involve:
- discipline;
- purpose;
- motivation;
- and perseverance.
Copyright © 2016 Ruby Blow. All rights reserved.
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